Hope and the Presidents
Bob Hope had a special affinity for presidents. He could make them laugh—at him, of course—but also at themselves. From FDR to Bill Clinton, Hope played the White House court jester, often poking pointed jabs at the high and mighty—Republicans and Democrats alike—though his satiric thrusts always were inflected with respect and often with affection. The key to joking with presidents, Hope found, was in “making an insult humorous so as to only dent the presidential ego, not damage it.” Presidents loved his ability to make them laugh. A White House request to Hope in 1956 to emcee a dinner put it well: “Your presence will make it possible for President Eisenhower to escape for several hours the onerous weight of his public burdens and cares.”
The first presidential joke I ever told was about George Washington: George told his father, “I cannot tell a lie.” I don’t know how he made it in politics! [Bob Hope, 1996]
Can you imagine if today’s press were around in Lincoln’s time? When he started out the Gettysburg address with the words “Four score and seven years ago,” the press would report it as “Lincoln says he scored four times in seven years.” [Bob Hope, September 3, 1992]
Well, this is the year we vote for President. . . . And President Roosevelt has finally decided to quit throwing his hat in the ring. . . . He’s just tied a string on it now and works it like a yo-yo. [Bob Hope, January 29, 1944]
Truman was in fine shape when he talked to Congress. . . . He was full of vim, vigor, and veto. [Bob Hope, January 10, 1950]
Ike spent his birthday on the golf course. . . . He knows what he’s doing. It’s his one chance to walk into the locker room and say “Sixty-eight today.” [Bob Hope, October 14, 1958]
President Kennedy is just winding up a non-political tour of the eleven states he lost in the last election. . . . It really is non-political. He just wants to see how they’re getting along without federal aid. [Bob Hope, October 5, 1963]
President Johnson couldn’t be here tonight. He’s busy. He’s placing a wreath on the tomb of the “unknown foreign policy.” [Bob Hope, January 21, 1967]
President Nixon wanted to be here tonight but he’s preparing his speech on the Watergate and he’s busy typing it. . . . Which is pretty tough to do with your fingers crossed. [Bob Hope, August 14, 1973]
Jerry Ford didn’t tape record anyone. He had the equipment but every time he threw the switch it hit someone. [Bob Hope, February 8, 1982]
Wasn’t Carter’s interview in Playboy something? He talks like Billy Graham and dreams like Sinatra. . . . Now we know what he’s always smiling about. [Bob Hope, October 7, 1976]
You all know that Reagan is our oldest chief executive. . . . Poli-Grip is now the official presidential seal. [Bob Hope, May 3, 1982]
George Bush told me to read his lips. While I had my eyes on his lips, he went for my wallet. [Bob Hope, July 19, 1990]
Clinton loves to make long speeches. In fact, this will be the first inaugural address with an intermission. [Bob Hope, 1993]
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